sorry it has been so long

Although this entry is a bit broken here is some of the things I have been doing and have been done by others since last time I published. Pics to follow sorry it has been so long.
The issues that I am having

Most plotting programs use .dxf so I assumed that this would be a good file to use as the input file type for the programme to rearrange the segments, and also I was hoping to use AutoCAD to plot out the patterns.the way AutoCAD finds printer drivers is that it locates them through the windows printer manager unfortunately most plotters work directly from built-in drivers from the programme that they utilise to cut patterns, so there is no Windows driver to begin with.

Issues that have been solved
Since I last wrote in this blog an awful lot has gone on, firstly the programming for the segments layouts via rapid pro has been worked on by John Foster there are some examples of what he has achieved below.
Initial STL file And here is the file that the slices derive from.

originally      newly arranged

I have tried to make it as easy as possible for John however in my own confuse fashion have made it more difficult for him sorry about that. I was being a little lazy and relying too much on John's programming to try and sove both the issues with the file type, and connecting up the plotter, the file type I am sticking with SVG and I am generating these files with SVGmaker V3. I need a program in the short-term which cuts out the SVG files that I am creating. For this I am using WinPCSIGN Basic 2012

How the sheets will be laminated together.
There is also use of a piercing wheel to pierce the vinyl, helps vacuum take-hold, as vinyl is not porous.
The first models were produced with silicone spray as divider, however simple soft soap will work better when the sheets are in the vacuum press, the glue on the back of the vinyl will not stick until the liquid has evacuated the space. So the sheet will be perfectly flat before they stick together, the soft soap both acts as a divider for the glue and lubrication for the vinyl.
1. Apply transfer tape adhesive, slightly bigger than the page that is being used, to base of vacuum press [sticky side up] tape the corners of transfer tape to the press.
 2. Cut straight through the vinyl and backing paper where the guide pegs will hold pages into place, (this will be done either by the vinyl cutter or punched out by a hole cutter) depending on program used to cut vinyl.
 3. Remove unwanted vinyl by hand to first page,
 4. Apply soft soap to transfer tape (simply for lubrication on this layer)     
 5. Apply first page face down in vacuum press on top of transfer tape. Guide Pegs will be laminated on transfer tape as well.
It is important at this stage to realise that the soft soap will squeeze off from the sticky side under pressure and Pool in the gaps from the removal of the pieces of vinyl I did not want. The silica paper will not stretch under pressure and will give the vinyl the support that it needs.
6. Peel of backing silica paper,
7. Apply mould release (soft soap) to adhesive in exposed areas
8. Apply second page
9. Put in vacuum press
10. Repeat for additional layers.
When peeling off the silica backing from the page, the unwanted pieces of vinyl should come off on the silica paper. The exception to this is the screw thread, it will need unwanted vinyl to be removed by hand on every page because of the way the object meet's different layers.
11. Once all the pages are laminated together do not remove the last top sheet of silica backing.
12.Use a craft knife and cut down the silica backing, so you are cutting columns also cut down the transfer tape on the bottom row. you will end up with several laminated sandwiches, with silica paper as the top crust and transfer tape as the bottom.
13. Peel off silica paper from column on furthest right. Pickup column on  the left side and peel off tansfer tape, use soft soap and stack columes from right to left, until you have one single colume.
14. Repeat this process for segments and you will have a 3D object.
Issues that need some work
I am tired of constantly plumbing in my plotter to a computer, it never seems straightforward. Although WinPCSIGN Basic works well enough [not perfectly] I still would like an easier solution. I am investigating inkscape and an add-on called inkcut, inkcut is Linux-based my plan is to load both inkscape and inkcut onto a raspberry pi and make inkscape a portable app for my pc.

I past the retake of my exam it was a good evaluation

I past the retake of my exam it was a pretty good evaluation, with the screen reader I could indeed read the instructions independently as many times as I liked. Although I began to get a little panicky towards the end of the exam when I began to get tired it certainly cut down on the normal anxiety that I feel when doing tests, and it was more straightforward for me. I did not have to think about a person sitting next to me looking over what I am doing. I feel very pleased with the outcome however I still need a little bit of practice with the technology I am using to make the best of what it offers me.

I have also been playing around with Google calendar and using it to get focused on upcoming exams and the rest of the course, the important thing is that the system I am designing in Enham I can take with me when I leave so that I do not have two relearn or redevelop things when I am in work or self-employment. And Lorraine of Enham seems supportive and encouraging of the systems I am constructing and what I am trying to do.

After hearing some of my concerns about STEPS, Enham asked me to explain to clients what STEPS does and what my concerns were, however I declined this because I did not feel that I could take responsibility for a program such as STEPS and what it might do to people with certain cognitive issues. To begin with you need both diagnosis and treatment to deal with cognitive problems. STEPS is simplicity itself in that it is a therapy that diagnosis the same behaviour issues for everybody furthermore gives them exactly the same treatment unfortunately when you are dealing with certain individuals with incredibly complex problems that approach seems to me lazy and careless at best.

I also spoke to Steve from Solvit Ltd he explained he would get on with the programming for the 3-D plotter, and let me know what he finds this week as I was a little worried about the speed of progress.

I failed the initial exam

I failed the initial exam, the drawing part of the exam was easy enough, however it was difficult for me to follow instructions on the paper. I will spend some time looking at ways to make the understanding of written work with CAD easier to understand. I have been looking into ways in which I can do the exam independently, and trying to put right some of the scanning issues that I have when using an amanuensis. The first thing I needed to ascertain was what form I could get the exam paper in, I found out that it is originally a PDF document, that's ok as long as the text is not an image. I also looked at Adobe reader X which should be able to work alongside my screen reader NVDA. Martin looked at the actual exam paper using these two programs and the computer could indeed read out loud the actual instructions. This should give me the ability to scan read as many times as I like and read in what order I wish, which is something people do in exam conditions and take for granted. Adobe reader X can also be used to highlight certain paragraphs and put written notes on top of the text.

 My new space pilot came in the post, I can use some buttons on the pilot to save myself orientating back and forward from the keyboard to the mouse this is a more comfortable way of interacting with AutoCAD. I will not play with it too much until I have got the initial 2-D exams out the way as I do not want to give myself too much to do.

first exam

I had a pretty good week last week, I did my first exam. The actual drawing part of the exam seemed to be easy, and to go reasonably fast. In fact during the exam I drew an object three times not because I made a mistake but because I was working out the best way of flow. It is important to me that my drawings have a good start and finish.

I study for an exam by waiting until it is dark, turning out all the lights of my room so that the only thing I focus on is the computer screen, this gives me a lot more concentration. The only thing that breaks my concentration then is the sound of the wildlife that surrounds Enham which is a lot! If you close your eyes it is like listening to a Disney cartoon.

How the exam worked

For the exam Nick was my reader, this was fortuitous as Nick has a very clipped military accent, which made it easy for me to keep focused on what I needed to do. It is important to mention this because the quality of the Reader is essential especially during exam conditions.

There were times in the exam when I found it very difficult to cope, partly because the CAD setup on my college computer is different from the computer that I have been using to practise on, and partly because I had practised with DragonWord, speaking the commands into the command line rather than writing them but during my exam, my headset was broken so I had to do things in a way that I had not practised, which just added to the nerves. So it was a good job Nick was there, to structure my panic.

I have bought a cheap headset now, so I can use DragonWord on the college computers without too much trouble. It also became apparent during the exam that is difficult for a Reader to focus read in the way that an exam taker would normally scan read, Nick doesn't know what is of importance to me in the passage he is reading, so he can not pick out the most pertinent facts for me, which means that the process that would been done in one go by a normal exam taker, takes Nick and Me several passes before we get to the meat of the matter. This could be rectified if there was a way to get a digital exam paper, I could use a digital reader, that would mean that I'd be the position to take an exam independently, which is far more than I have been able to do in all my education.

What has happened with the 3-D plotter?

I've got in touch with Solvd Ltd, they are confident that they can carry out the work that needs to be done. At the moment, they are on the phone asking advice from another software company regarding my programme. And I explained to Steve of Solvd that it is important to get the programme done by the end of October as without the programme working, I will not be able to develop the vaccuum press, which is the hardware side of my project.

Enham - Shuffling to the left (and the right!)

Let me begin this entry by saying how supportive and understanding Autodesk have been to my learning needs, I had an issue with doing my exams on a student version of AutoCAD so I wrote to Autodesk to enquire how I could do the exams with a watermark when I needed to use Dragon word to import some of the written commands, A guy called Martin Ball came to Enham from Autodesk and looked at my 3-D plotter project! The explanation of the project seemed to go well. Autodesk also donated me a design suite of programs so that I could use them for my exam with Dragon word, this is because I would not be allowed to use the watermark student edition with my final pieces. We talked about the command line in AutoCAD and how initially I was very fearful of it, because of the written commands that you input manually and that my spelling was not up to it, however by using Dragon word it is giving me the independence to access the program efficiently, and how using AutoCAD successfully and is aiding me to use other 3-D programs which are not accessible to both my reading and writing software! We also spoke of the 3-D plotter project, and how nowadays it is difficult for me to develop 3-D objects in real life, and if the printer can be developed successfully, how 3-D programs can take up the slack of my coordination problems, and how 3-D programs can give people the ability to develop shapes and objects no matter what their disability, also by changing the way you interface with AutoCAD, can give a disabled individual an incredible amount of creative independence.


There is a lot that has happened and I need to get my head around some of the issues that have been thrown up in the last three weeks or so. I have been awarded a grant to work on the 3-D printer from Enham which is fantastic. It gives me the chance to finish off the programming that needs to be done.

I have approached 4 separate organisations to look at this as I want to get it finished by December if possible. I have given an initial brief to Autodesk, I have also put it on Freelancer.com and of course Solvd in Basingstoke, and the American Virtual Printer Driver

I had a cognitive assessment done in Southampton Hospital, the results shocked me a little bit, but it did explain some of the issues I've had in the workplace, both in getting jobs in the past and keeping them. The lady who carried out the assessment also said with the level of brain damage I have she would normally send me for treatment however because I've been born with the damage, treatment could not put the issues right. I was very glad to get a cognitive assessment. So much of thinking says you should concentrate on what an individual can do, and that may be true, however people tend to neglect what an individual cannot do and from the disabled point of view that is just as important.



I needed a way to complete at least some of the initial exams as I have not been able to enter my exams since I've been at Enham and even though I have developed the way to cope with the CAD exams with Dragon word I have not yet been able to put the theory into practice. And this has made me feel helpless, Martin my lecturer got in touch with the people who make Dragon word to explain that Enham would need a version of their software to assist me in the exam process, this has just arrived and so I will set up a speech file next week, and this should be what I need to complete the exams independently.

It is also important to mention that as well as feeling helpless for the time I have been at Enham (although achieving a lot) some of the systems that the scheme has offered me, such as STEPS and the lecture on Disability awareness have made me feel incredibly inadequate and rather than given me empowerment have done quite the opposite. The STEPS course is interesting in the way it gives people a system of thinking and visualisation which enables their goals, but the way my process of thinking differs from an able-bodied person, in trying to put STEPS into practice it just ended up filling me with despair. (See cognitive assessment).

The disabled awareness training ignored the issues entirely about being disabled and the difficulties that it brings, trying to gain full-time employment. They showed us a video about a bloke who was just diagnosed with a disability and how he coped with it.

It also talked about the Disability Act and how this Act is supposed to aid a disabled person into work. The bloke in the video didn't have much relevance to me because through my eyes I am not disabled, I was born like I am, I have not known any difference. The Disabled Act if you look through it piece by piece, apart from being very pretty statements, has nothing that can be backed up in a court of law. This makes me angry because the course is only words, the Disability Act is only words and yet the lecturers sell it to us as if it is a panacea to all disablement and disability related problems. There is no real understanding of my issues or the issues of any disabled person nor an understanding of how little support in law there is for us. It takes a lot more than saying you ‘deal with disability’ to deal with disability.

To try and make myself feel better, and develop a connection with my learning, I have bought myself a present of a second-hand mouse [HP 3DConnexion Spacepilot 3D SpaceNavigator CAD Pro Mouse] which should help me with my coordination issues and the way finding commands on the keyboard breaks my concentration. I don't want to struggle with CAD if I don’t have to! And it will be first-time I've acting on some of the issues raised in the cognitive assessment.

I went to a company called Airpress www.airpress.co.uk and spoke to a guy called Peter Hoggard , we spoke about the press he sells, and developing them for the 3-D plotter process of mine. Both in the stacking of the laminates and possible degassing of resins. The meeting went very well and some of the technical questions I had were answered and we also managed to narrow down what vacuum press would be the best for me!
I also went to the programmers that I am using to develop the programme for the 3-D printer to return the computer to them. I borrowed back the computer for a meeting I had with Autodesk and I will let you know about the what happened as soon as I have digestive it myself.

CAD is not coming as easily

I am really enjoying my time with Enham, CAD is not coming as easily as I hoped however my lecturer is helping me develop ways around the reading and interface issues that I have with AutoCAD and slowly it is starting to tie itself together.
I am trying to develop systems both for my own learning and research and to try and finish off the 3-D printer.it is important that any systems I use to work, I can take them with me when I leave Enham. One of the most difficult things I think about being disabled is there maybe systems to help you in life in a certain organisation or environment but as soon as it ends it is like a rug being pulled from beneath your feet. And anything that has been achieved in Enham I need to repeat for myself, whether that's in employment or self-employment. Sorry the blog has been intermittent lately however I am spending all my time trying to work out CAD and as soon as stuff happens I will let you all know.

The interview at Enham

I'm apprehensive about resident disability centres, somewhere squashed in to my gnarly little soul is the congealing principle that disabled people have the same right to education, jobs and training in the same systems that everyone else use.

After we talked about what the course entails, a sea change in my thinking occurred about residential centres, there seems to be an understanding that because my literacy issues are linked to my cerebral palsy, they would not improve naturally by themselves, that I would need to develop stronger strategies to manage the difficulties that I have especially when applying for jobs.

I had a bit of a grizzle walking back to the car It was the first-time in 10 years where I haven't had to justify , defend or even prove I had a disability. And that in itself is the best reason for doing the course at Enham, even without my interest in 3-D work

CAD will be a good bridge between the skills I already have

it's important for me to do something to prove to myself that I still have talent, for some time I’ve been feeling out of my depth and in limbo

it's probably the best chance to improve my systems I have for my paperwork

How I haven't had support for one month

The initial meeting to update my CV and covering letter was on (4th April 2012 @ 2.30) this was changed to (24 April 2012 @15.45) because of a Orthotic appointment I had, the same day, however the times did not clash,,and I thought it polite to inform that I might be in a bit of a rush, however they wrote back with an appointment on the 24th this has sorted the issue, but it means that I have not had any support in a month!

how this makes me feel
the thing that I want to be able to develop is a more independent way of dealing with everyday job finding e.g. CV's and job applications, there is no easy answer if there was I would have found it myself by now. until I am able to develop a independent way of coping with these things I am restrained by the amount of time people can give me. I haven't been idle however it is incredibly difficult to live up to my jobseekers agreement without support. And that makes me feel despondent with the process,

Things that I can do!

• I've been looking for jobs, but it is just lip service because there is no support for filling in the application, but it will be a good test for the new diary.
• The letter from Enham about the CAD course came, and I have an interview with them on the 12 of April.
• working out what I can do with the new computer, I am gradually getting the accuracy with the dictation software and it was a pleasant surprise when my screen reader worked directly from Microsoft Word this should make my life a little easier.
• I so I can finish the outstanding paperwork that I have with a4e.

A4E last meeting and two past projects

There is a new button on my blog it is a link to my calendar, I have not yet got it to work properly (at present anyone can access it)
but I hope that it will aid me in organising all the different things that I am doing. The biggest obstacle I want to overcome with it is the time that it takes me to put in a job application, I am very good at looking for jobs. However because of the not so accessible application forms that the majority of companies put out, it becomes a impossible task without help to filling these things on time. Hopefully the calendar will highlight some of the issues that I have and the time that it takes me to complete an application form.

a4e found me some paperwork that were Microsoft Word files, in the hope that it would be easier for me to filling the stuff required to sign up to the program. I managed to complete the straightforward ones, some would not open clearly on open office, this should not be a problem as my new computer has arrived and it has MS word on it! I will set the new computer up on Thursday! The document entitled About You initial assessment was a pain in the ass to complete because of the level of fields in it to make it look pretty, my screen reader could not read it I tried to simplify it but this was difficult as I could not read what I was doing I tried cutting and pasting paragraphs into WordPad but this was tedious! After five hours by chance my sister called me from Cornwall, she could tell I was tired and angry, and said that if I came down to see her (as I haven't seen her for four years) she would help me fill in the form. A little around the houses but at least it got, done.


Things completed
the CAD course at Enham would not affect the stuff that I am doing with a4e
the disabled adviser with BCoT college, can ring me direct to see if they would be able to deal with my literacy needs
Things to be done
we spoke about the jobs that I have found and an appointment has been made for me to look over my CV and covering letter (on 4th April 2012 @ 2.30)

I have put a few links to two past projects on this blog they show what is possible for me to do when there are no obstacles in my way. The two projects were created from the ground up and each one needed critical thought and problem-solving of the highest level to get them completed.

The first is viables under pass feb 06. I have also put the video here. This was a concept project and although it was never built it won awards, unfortunately what the council decided to do instead was pretty lame, however nothing would be done at all if it was not for the original project. The digital model contained all of the electrical and lighting infrastructure so as well as being a model to show off the concept it could be used to build the installation in real life

the second is a piece of site-specific sculpture that was placed around the living tree magazine article here the wall was thin unfortunately not show by photographs and although three stories high I had to design new foundations because, I could not dig down into the tree roots that would hurt the tree, and the wall itself needed to let the wind pass through it because the increase surface area could of uprooted the pine tree so I designed new concrete to do this!

It's always going to be a struggle for someone with the mind of Sherlock Holmes and the combine reading and writing age of Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po! However the little things like having the right format so my computer can read information really does make a difference.

The 3-D printer

I am trying to replace and repair all my existing equipment that is either damaged or worn out. My plotter has been realigned so it should now cut evenly along the role of vinyl, Remap also tightened the stand and put new places on the plotter so that I could take it off the stand easily if needed. I also made a new part so that the blade could be held more securely than the original plastic part which cracked with use.

I am developing a faster more industrial way of putting the models together, I got in touch with a Basingstoke company called solvd which develop software. I gave them a basic brief which explains the issues that I have with the program that I'm using, and they on my behalf got in touch with Boxford the makers of RapidPRO. Boxford replied with an e-mail saying due to a similar program on the market made by schroff Development Corporation called JP System5 it could infringe a copyright issue by changing rapid pro to do things that I want and perhaps I should try the system 5 program. I got in touch with schroff who said that they do not offer the JP System5 program any more but they would be happy to e-mail me a link so that I can try the program out to see if it does what I want. After trying the program and eventually getting it to work it does indeed do some of the things that I would like however it does not create an output file so the standard plotting machine would not be able to use it. The way that you build with the program is also incredibly clumsy and more time-consuming than is practical.

So I have decided to stick with RapidPRO and have thought on a workaround to the output files that the program produces. It should be easy to arrange the segments into the order that I need now I have found a way of saving the .rpp files that rapid pro produce into a standard .EMF file type. I have achieved this by adapting an open source virtual printer called EmfPrinter! The ordering of the segments should be easy enough with another open source program called Inkscape, and because I am only plotting a output file it would not infringe any copyright on the RapidPRO program.

In order to get this done I will take my old computer to solvd it has Windows XP and everything at the moment is set up on that operating system. solvd should then be able to generate a quote on how much the programming will cost and more importantly how I am going to pay for the work that needs doing.

When I was in Cornwall I also got in touch with a model making factory called Design Clinic as I have only spoken to them over the phone and they are interested in a cheap 3-D printer and straightforward way of generating models. It will be important to invite model makers into the process because at the moment I do not have any facilities to generate models from different materials and I want the printer to be able to generate models from as many substances as possible.

Me doing research in Cornwall
Good job I got this hot pasty in before the government taxes it!

The rack reborn

I am revisiting the rack because a lot has happened in the time that I have been using it! My legs are very unforgiving and the issue with spastic diplegia which is the Pacific form of cerebral palsy that I have is the muscles in my legs are incredibly strong especially around my inner thighs and hips, this is because my spine does not produce a chemical to relax my muscles. The strength in my legs has destroyed three racks in the time I last put a post up on the web. I end up bending the box steel that makes up the frame of the machine. I was lucky enough to find a stretching machine made by Century (incredibly well made and strong) the frame seems to Cope with the stresses my legs put upon it, but the original ratchet gear wore out very quickly and could not cope with spasms in my legs,
I went to an amazing charity called Remap which designs and makes objects specifically for disability I told them about the ratchet gear not being able to cope with the stress my legs put upon it and when I release the tension of the gear my legs slam together which jars them and causes spasms which in turn defeats the object of exercising on the machine. They replaced the ratchet with an two ton hydraulic bottle jack which you can release the pressure slowly so instead of a slam I can bleed the hydraulic winch and gently put my legs together. Some might say it's a little overkill to have two tons of pressure between my thighs separating my legs, but my legs are even fighting against the hydraulic jack.

Things I have also done

The white objects in the photograph are night splints these are normally use to go to bed with so that my ankles are not so tight in the morning, I use them on the rack because when I am stretching my toes point out and I need to keep my ankles at 90° for the process to work effectively. There is also two Velcro strips on each leg rest this is because my hamstrings are short and I need to keep my legs flat so when I am stretching the straps stop my legs from bending.


Richard Brown from Remap Basingstoke also realigned my plotter as it was cutting a little wonky. He also said that when the 3-D printer. Is working he would organising some projects to do to test it out, it would be handy for Remap to have access to a cheap 3-D printer.

a4e meeting

• We discussed the Enham CAD course.
• contact was made with BCoT college, tried to get in touch with the disabled adviser there, their CAD course would start in September.
• Contact was also made to a private provider of CAD courses, at the moment the name escapes me.
• ask Sue 2 about next appointment.

As soon as I got home a letter came through the door, which confirmed the paperwork was being processed by the job centre for Enham CAD course.
I also got in touch with Enham earlier last week and they supplied me with the course notes,

We talked about systems to improve access for disability and that it can be as simple as changing the format of their literature
and this can aids many types of disabled access, whether that be deafness or blindness or even dyslexia.

There are a few simple rules to make a document readable by accessibility software!
A simple file format such as Rich text text or HTML. HTML is a good format because it works the same way as a website.
It is Important to have basic formatting. You can probably get away with a table, but images ain't good, why have a logo when text will do the same job. If you have to put a logo on a form, remember to label it, most screen readers will then be able to read it just as a word.( The process is called the screen focal point.)
Once literature has been changed into a standardised file type (for access ability) there is still the issue of application forms and such, however I have been told that there is help for me to fill these in.
I have no problem with the support for application forms, however anything that I need to complete involving my jobseekers allowance, I need to do independently.

We discussed how my behaviour can sometimes be misinterpreted, if you didn't know my issues with accessing information from reading below, and gave me the task to complete an application form, I would naturally get frustrated, this so often gets interpreted as lazy and/or angry. The same can be said about publishing this blog, but the truth of it is simply if a4e are as good at finding jobs as they say on their website, I am just changing the system so that I can access the program and feel part of the process. (Doing is better than just saying) The blog, is good for me to put my feelings down into words, and recalled my process of working. Up until recently I have lost my dictation software and I was getting very frustrated with organisations which said they understood how to work with me but I was unable to put across to them, how difficult it was for me to access their program. My blog has made me feel at ease with this whole process.

I was happy with how the meeting went . I felt I was not just being listened to, but that my issues were being heard, and although we are still at the very beginning of this process, I can honestly say I feel at peace with it.

Reading and writing are both vegetables, but they are as different as carrots and peas, this shows up more with me because of the programs that I used to access these skills.

Two completely separate programs
screen reading = reading (input typed text output synthetic digital voice)
dictation programs = writing (input spoken word output typed text

Screen reading and dictation programs only have one thing in common, on the whole they work with other programs e.g. Internet Explorer open office Wordpad and such. My screen reader for example will read directly off of open office, but not from Microsoft Word. (I do not know about the latest version.) My dictation program will work pretty much where you can input text, but with PDFs there very rarely is a text field, unless they are set up for form filling. Because of the closed way PDFs are made very few screen readers will read PDFs either.

Screen reading and dictation programs give me a level of independence, for e-mail and the blog both programs are perfect. If I had two identical forms one in PDF one in HTML, and just say they were two pages long, they both need filling in the questions are straightforward (do not need to think about the answers.) The HTML form would take me 20 min start to finish. The PDF form could take me hours. And that's if I can get somebody to read me the questions! as my screen reader would not. It sounds obvious but these programs are not a replacement for reading and writing, and the formats that are given to me to read or write on need to be fought about because it makes the difference between a task being straightforward or impossible.

The images are what happens to the word files when I put them into OpenOffice. So I was not able to read them or sign them at the same time. And I like to remember what I am signing for but I have read them! when I get the new computer it will have Microsoft Word so there should not be a problem.

a4e

My initial meeting with A4E seemed promising

I spoke about my difficulties in accessing back to work programmes, because of my limited reading and writing skills and how these programs on the whole do not cope with my level of need.

• How on earth will I fill in the paperwork
• keep track of what I want to do and how I am progressing
• maintain a level of control of what is going on on the program.

we talked about getting an amanuensis (someone to read and write for me?) And although that seems a solution, we discussed how I would not know what is being written on the forms (it could be anything) and then I would have signed for it, I need a level of oversight which is in my control. Because I do not want to be pushed down a road that ends up with an outcome which isn't right for me. I would rather have any written material in a digital format because my computer can do the reading and writing. It is important to be as independent as I can because if I cannot cope with the program how am I supposed to deal with a workplace.

I discussed how in the last 10 years I have been pushed into jobs which either do not suit my main body of experience or physical jobs which tire me out due to my cerebral palsy, I've been happy to volunteer for roles in the past however they have not let to anything fulfilling or long-term.
It is very hard to access the right employment for me.

• Labouring work tends to make me tired and uncoordinated in a situation like a factory I become a danger to myself and others stumbling around when I am tired.
• Getting a driving job would be a solution however I need a converted automatic car with a left-hand accelerator pedal.
• And reading and writing is very stressful in a workplace for me unless everything is completely digital

A4E have assured me that they will work with me to find something that is fulfilling and sustainable I hope this is true.

Also spoke about self-employment and I talked about my experience with having a small craft business for three years in the past, and how when I needed to get extra money to help me pay the rent on the studio, it was so very hard to get even part-time work, because of my learning issues. 10 years ago when times were supposedly good, I have been on lots of employment programs in that time some directed towards disability some not but none of them have been able to address my level of dyslexia and how that affects me in my working life. And I have been on a downward spiral ever since I gave up self-employment. Even while running the business I had to have some support, from a lady called Marlene Rose who was from the Inland Revenue, she helped me with my books. I would like to develop away I can keep track of my books independently. I have been on courses in the past two facilitate me doing this, but again because they do not work with my level of dyslexia they have very little relevance for me.

And I spoke about the business idea that I have which I've been working on for some time, (further down in the blog)

I also stated that right now my confidence is at rock bottom and that I would like to go back into training to learn CAD this will help me in the long-term with some of the business ideas and also the difficulties I have these days with putting technical drawings down onto paper.

Things that have already been done to address my needs

The one of the two Sues at Basingstoke JobCentre helped me here! I have been having trouble with my computer, they put me in touch with Leonard Cheshire disability which reconditions computers with voice assist software which should help me cope better with organising myself to find a job. (At the moment I have managed to temporarily fix my old computer but it will not last as it has reached the grand age of six years, and I don't think the sparks that are coming out of it in intervals are a good sign.)


I am hoping that this blog will help me organise what I am doing with my work needs. Primarily it gives me the ability to read and write. It also helps me arrange what I am doing, and overcomes some of my organisation and memory problems by keeping everything in the same place, with the added bonus of being able to access the information from different locations so I do not need to carry loads of paper around with me. I will also tie this in with an online calendar,

I have also arranged with Sue 2 to sign-on with her, so that if I have a problem. I can report it to her before it causes me too much stress.

Things to do

a4e for their part said that they would look into 2 things for the next meeting which is on 9th March at 9.30

• to look into digitising the written information I need to access the program. (I have an e-mail confirming this already)
• to see who is the best contractor to support my needs (Whether that would be the CAD course and/or self-employment)

I have been working on some ways of getting funding to start a business already, however I am not quite ready to start a business. The first meeting seemed strongest with the self-employment that is good but I will still need funds to develop my initial idea, as I do not want to be stuck on the same stage for any longer than I have to be. Ideas can only get you so far, I need cash to develop them and for living.